Ten Online Dating Myths

Top Ten Online Dating Myths

By Cherie Burbach 

Internet dating is a fabulous way to meet people.  Even so, there are some misconceptions that keep singles from even trying to go online.  Others are a bit nervous about online dating and bring an attitude of fear and trepidation to their online dating experience. 

Oftentimes I hear of myths from people who have never dated online!  I wonder how people who have never experienced it can give advice to singles who want to give it a whirl!

Do you have some online myths you’re holding onto?  See if one of these describes your biggest online dating fear.

1.  There are only losers and freaks online.

This seems to be the most popular misconception I’ve heard about online dating.   The funny part is that I hear this most often from people who have never online dated! 

I’ve worked with a lot of online daters and I can tell you that the people who use online dating services are regular folks who (for whatever reason) just have not met the right person yet.  Maybe they’ve spent time just being single and getting to know themselves.  Maybe they’ve worked too much over the years and haven’t had the time to date as much as they’d like to.  Maybe they have dated quite a bit over the years but just can’t seem to find that one person that they click with.

2. It’s all about sex.

I see this used as a storyline quite a bit in Hollywood, but in real life most people (myself included) join online dating services because they want to meet someone special.  They want a relationship.  They aren’t in it to get a one-night stand. 

3. You can’t possibly meet a soul mate with the Internet.

A few folks out there seem to think that if you go online, you are going to hook up with whoever you happen to meet, and the implication is that you are not going to meet a soul mate. 

I’m here to tell you that is wrong.

Internet dating is one of the best ways to meet someone perfect for you because it introduces you to a lot of people and you can find them by searching for common interests.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a couple friends set me up over the years and at the end of the date I always wondered, “Is this who you think I should be with?”  The people I met through set ups never seemed to have anything in common with me.

With Internet dating, however, I met lots of guys who shared similar interests.  One of those guys turned out to be my husband, and we’ve just celebrated our five-year anniversary. 

4. It’s expensive.

Some singles balk because there is generally a fee to joining most online dating sites.  In my opinion, the fee is nominal when you think that you could be hanging out in bars or joining a singles club and spending a lot more money than you would with an Internet dating site. 

Besides that, most online daters who join paid sites seem to be more serious about finding a real relationship.  All around it’s a good investment.

5. It’s not safe.

Let me be clear on this:  any time you meet someone new you have to be cautious.  This includes people you may meet through friends or on your own.  Until you get to know someone, they are a stranger to you.

The reason Internet gets a bad rap for safety is because daters feel comfortable with their online matches after they email or talk on the phone with them first.  Because they’ve had this communication, they feel they know them better than if they were meeting a complete stranger.  The reality is that even with email and phone calls, your date is a stranger until you take the time to get to know them.

Internet dating actually has many safety measures that other methods of people don’t:  a double-blind email system, blocking feature, and ability to communicate with ever giving out your last name or other personal information. 

6. Everybody will know you are Internet dating.

One of the fears some daters have in “putting their information out there” is that someone they work with or live near will see it.  They believe they will be ridiculed simply because they are online and looking for someone special.

While it’s certainly possible that people may see your profile, the reality is that the people who are looking online are the ones using the service.  So if you’re worried that a coworker may see your profile, don’t tell them you are Internet dating.  They probably will never look online. 

7. It takes too much time.

Some daters think in order to Internet date you need hours a day to spend looking through profiles.  But this is incorrect.  The great thing is, once you get your profile set up, you can easily browse through emails and profiles quickly on your own time.  The amount of time you spend online is up to you.

8. There are no singles in your area.

Chances are, even if you live in a small town, there will be singles you haven’t met yet online.  That’s the great thing about the Internet; it introduces you to people who probably live near you that you might otherwise never have met.  My husband and I had hung out at all the same places for years and it still took the World Wide Web for us to finally meet.

If you log on to a service and don’t see many people, you can always try and different service.  Don’t limit yourself or give up before you’ve exhausted all your possibilities.

9. Everybody lies.

I can tell you in the 60-some guys I met online, a couple fudged the truth about their height and weight.  Every single guy had a picture and only one didn’t look like his.  In other words, the majority of people online don’t lie.

Sometimes it’s a matter of just wanting to be accepted.  People may post a picture that isn’t quite current, or shave a pound or two off because they fear that if someone read their stats they wouldn’t want to meet them.  Look beyond these things when you meet someone new.  After all, it’s the innate qualities of a person that will provide the spark needed to spark a relationship.

10.  You only do Internet dating if you can’t meet people any other way.

The Internet isn’t a last resort, but one of many different options for singles today.  The smartest singles out there use the Internet, speed dating, lunch dating, and more to meet the right person.  Why settle for just one method when there are several to try?  You’ll never know which one will work best with your personality, time commitment, and location until you try. 

Singles tend to believe certain misconceptions out there because they are nervous about Internet dating until they actually do it.  Some go in with a poor attitude just looking for a reason to have these myths be true. 

Which one of these online myths do you believe? 

Cherie Burbach is the author of Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza  and can be found at www.msdatingconsultant.com.