I’m Not G.I. Jane, I’m Attachment Barbie

“I’m not G.I. Jane, I’m Attachment Barbie.” 

Oh. My. God.

There it was in one neatly delivered quote on Grey’s Anatomy. Me, in a nutshell.

I have a tendency to charge through life…a little go-getter with a will of steel and tenacity for ten people. But that does not mean that I’m completely self-reliant and impervious to feelings. Quite the contrary. In the same way that I commit to anything I do, when someone captures my attention (which admittedly is rare when it comes to the dateable male category) I jump in with both feet, my heart and the whole shebang. I mean, I don’t do anything halfway in the rest of my life…so why would I be any different in matters of love?

Problem is, when I “invest” in something, I want to succeed. I want it to work. I want it to turn out the way I’d envisioned.

Unfortunately there is another person in the mix. And I have NO control over him and his feelings and what happens next and where he is at this time in his life. So try as I might, I can’t MAKE things happen the way I want. No matter HOW enticing I make myself. Some things you just have to leave to fate.

Top that off with the reality that as women, we’re wired to bond. Especially if there has been any making out with said hottie. A little oxytocin gets in the mix and wham…suddenly Mr. Fun-for-the-Moment becomes Mr. Object-of-Obsession. And separation from this drug (i.e. the guy who is making you feel giddy) starts to cause feelings of panic.

“What if I NEVER get another kiss like that [especially if he’s a REALLY good kisser]?”

And even if you know that he might not be “the one” you suddenly still find yourself hooked and thinking he might be or that if you let him get away, you’re done, finished…no one else will come along that will make you feel that way. Ever again. It’s crazy-making stuff.

So yes, I’m Attachment Barbie.

And while the rest of the world might see me as a G.I. Jane – a gal who is embracing every opportunity that comes her way and who thrives on all the experiences life offers – the reality is, the little Attachment Barbie who tucks herself into bed at night exhausted, wants her dolly.

Or more specifically, her “Ken.”

Okay fine, G.I. Joe might work too. But he’d better like to cuddle.

Kimberly Dawn Neumann is the founder of Dating Diva Daily.