I Got Intimate Too Fast…Now What?
Dating Diva Q: Ugh, I got intimate too soon with a new guy and now I totally regret it. We got carried away on the first date and hooked up. And after I’d made such a point about wanting to build a relationship slowly. I feel like I’ve messed things up.
Dating Div-Answer from Dating Diva Daily Advisory Board Member Dave Singleton: There’s no going back and ‘unsleeping with someone’, but, it’s not always a deal-breaker, if that’s what you’re worried about. Do you like the guy and want to pursue dating but wonder how you can turn back time and start again, but slower? If so, the remedy is to forgive yourself and address any concerns your date has about pacing or what sleeping together means, since premature intimacy can cause stress on a budding relationship. Try clearing the air in as nonjudgmental (of you or him) a way as possible to determine if he’s still up for dating. If you’re not sure or you definitely don’t want to see him again, clearing the air is a good idea, too. But don’t feel too bad about it. Remember that you are only human and it was his decision, too. I highly doubt you had to drag him into bed over the bedposts! In other words, it’s not just “your fault” – and maybe finding fault is a worthless endeavor, anyway. Dating divas have to stop blaming themselves too much for what happens in their dating worlds! In the future, you might want to set your Diva limits firmly before you head out for the first date. You’ll be less likely to lose yourself in the moment. If you’re really concerned, make sure you meet and say goodnight to your date in a public place. That will work unless, of course, you both like the temptation of forbidden fruit. Then you might really get carried away.